Well, here I am again. Right now I'm cuddling with David and kinda sorta watching a Vietnam movie called Tunnel Rats. I hate Vietnam movies...except for Forrest Gump, which doesn't count :) .
I'm glad school is starting back. Yeah, it'll be busy and crazy and uberstressful as usual, but I kinda like knowing what I'm doing every day. I'm planning on hanging out with McCurly tonight, which brings me immense happiness. I haven't seen her in ages, and she's always wonderfully insightful, even in her nonsensical statements. David just belched in my face. Gross.
So I remembered...he did it again. Gross.
Anyway, I remembered a conversation I had with someone my sophomore year about psychology (a favorite dabble of mine). He got angry with me and refused to let me walk away from him because my leaving him alone after the presentation of my various theories about him would allow his mind to automatically self-analyze. (D just burped on me again. Gah.) Remembering my conversation with The Cryptic Fat One reminded me of a fact that I've discovered in my own life; usually the best, most definite way to be comfortable and happy with who you are is to really get to know yourself- to self-analyze yourself and decide which of your flaws you can live with, which of them you can't, and which of them are universals...which are so generally human that everyone shares them with you. No matter who complains about universal flaws, everyone has them, so you automatically bear them without feeling that they are a burden. Another great attribute of self-analysis is that it gives you the ability to see the good things about yourself; it creates a positive sense of pride, confidence, and self-worth. I realized today that I haven't self-analyzed in a long time, mostly because the people around me make me feel so wonderful that I don't feel the need to really read into who I am and criticize myself. For the sake of health, I think I should.
Let's see...negative traits first.
-I'm headstrong. I won't give up on something, even if it is a heavy tax on me emotionally or it takes too much out of me.
-I overthink things sometimes. I allow things to stress me out too much. I'm afraid of being too lax, so sometimes I'm too high-strung for my own good.
-I'm a tad ocd. I have a specific way I do things, and alterations throw me off. If i can't do things in a specific order I arrange things so that I can get them back into the original order, and that sometimes makes me a little inefficient.
-I can be too kind to people. Despite my good judge of character, I often knowingly give people more slack than I should, and it can end up costing me.
-I can have a one-track mind. I like to finish minor to moderate tasks before I consider taking on others, when I should be multi-tasking.
-I multi-task too much. (lol)
-I can be moody. Sometimes I let it show, sometimes I handle it pretty well. When it does show, I usually take my frustration out on people I know will put up with it (which I usually end up guilting myself to death over later...which brings me to-)
-I beat myself up. Rather I made a mistake or was simply a witness to something I couldn't control, I beat myself up over what I could have done, should have done, or would have done if I'd thought about it (which is so stupid to criticize one's self over).
There are a ton more than that, but those are specific to me. As for positives...
-I'm adaptable. Sooner or later I can become efficient at most things, which is pretty useful.
-I really care about people. People can rely on me and I get a lot of personal satisfaction out of helping them, rather or not they decide to return the favor.
-I understand people and empathize very well. I've learned how to work through emotions and it comes in handy in social situations.
-I'm usually conscious of how I behave, which is an improvement over how I was only a year or two ago. In fact, I'm practically a different person.
-I'm headstrong. Though it can be a fault, it gets me through tough times and helps make me a good leader.
-I'm insightful enough to deal with life. I don't really see the point in elaborating on that one.
-I see beauty in simple things.
-I try to see the good in everyone, even if the bad seriously gets on my nerves.
-I focus on the long run. I pay attention to the present and follow the philosophy that you only get one life and should cherish every day, but I try not to stress something if it's not gonna make a difference in a few years. I try to see opportunities and keep my eyes on my goals, and I strive for them without relent.
There are also more of those, but as before I see it as somewhat pointless to list them.
I feel better. Knowing that one knows oneself makes the world a much friendlier place, probably because when one knows oneself, one always has a friend close by.
I'm a senior. Dude, it's so weird (and relieving) to say that. One more year and I've got a new life ahead of me...talk about gnawing anticipation. I love not knowing where life will take me, and I love the few things I do know are in store for me.
Wow. This movie is awful. Good cinematography, but it's an awful film. No one wants to see life as it really is. Everyone knows that :) .But seriously, I don't know if I can finish it.
My quote of the day is original...
"My goddaughter is adorable. Michael Jackson is dead. Brownies are still yummy. Life is good."
Seriously, people. Some of his music was good...some. But he was only ever sexy or a good performer when he was a not-so-skinny, big-nosed black boy who actually sang and danced instead of grunting and grabbing his crotch. Get over it. He lives on in cds and the bank accounts of drug dealers. All I'm worried about is where all the Beatles merchandise is going. There's a lot more going on in the world than the death of yet another pop star junkie. For example, Iraq, Darfur, north Korea, and a Latina senator (JUMPIN'). Or, if you'd rather not focus on the world political stage, there's Kathy Griffin. She's friggin' hilarious. So is Gabriel Igleseas (I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong). Check them out.
"Big brother is watching you"
~W.V.~
