It's an amazing song by Sick Puppies that makes me cry. In fact, that's what I'm doing right now, in the best possible way; listening to "All the Same" and crying a little. David's oblivious beside me, playing Modern Warfare 2 and swearing at the screen.
Today is Thanksgiving, and I am blogging. Strange, I know. I don't have much else to do. My blood family spent the afternoon arguing, and I'm with David's, which I must say is much more fun.
Thinking a lot about family lately. Still insanely excited about getting married, and nervous about a great many things, but also oddly at peace with my indefinite state of discord. I think that is part of my humanity, independant from everyone else's; I am constantly at odds with myself, and usually everyone else. It's become a relitively comfortable form of existance for me.
So I've been designing tee shirts for an up-and-coming company. Eventyally I hope to make a little extra money from the endevour; let's hope it turns out okay.
Work is good, but it's also always a little sad because I know I'll eventually have to leave. I'm a bit nervous about working Black Friday, but I'm sure we'll handle it well. Generally everyone I work with is quite adaptable.
I must not be very picky about music. I listen to so much, and not a lot of it is well known, and therefore, no one likes it. It makes me sad. People that deserve to be discovered rarely are.
Hinder songs are always sad. Anyone else noticed that?
Now that Evanescence is no more, I must recommend you listen through their Origin album...most of their truly musically unique stuff happened before they signed with Windup, though their popular stuff isn't bad either.
My hair is shorter now than it has been since the first grade. I think I'm starting to get used to it...it seems to be growing on others as well. It's a modified bob that I've been tweaking into a few different edgy styles.
I am SO FULL OF FOOD. David's mother makes phenomenal cheesecake. My mom actually managed a strange (and awesome) variation of fruit salad that I loved. I need to hone my limited cooking skills. Seriously.
Life has been so odd lately. People look up to me, and all my friends my age or older are getting married, having kids, starting careers, going to different colleges...I have to say, I'm most excited for Sota. I believe so much in him...he'll make it, no matter what he wants to do.
Has anyone ever seen a miniature poodle completely unshaven? They look like love children of shizus and sheep. When we arrived at my grandmother's today, the first thing we saw was my aunt and uncle running through the yard, chasing a poodle. I must say, it was hilarious; as soon as I got inside and opened the front door, the little thing ran right inside. It was, of course, sour grapes to the others.
I'm not sure why I'm blogging today.
It just feels like I'm connected with myself, I guess. Considering McCurly is the only person that reads these, I think that's why I blog period...to know myself as well as I can.
"Demolition Lovers". Quite an interesting song, though somewhat morbid. I'd love to learn the acoustic guitar part.
Oh! I almost forgot. I choked on something at dinner in front of my future in-laws.
Only me.
Epic fail.
Happy Turkey-Day, people.
"How do you expect to get any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!!"
~"A Brick in the Wall"
Peace,
~W.V.~
Nov 26, 2009
Nov 18, 2009
GAH
RESEARCH PAPER
BUDGET PROJECT
MONEY
HOME
MONEY
WORK
MONEY
SCHOOL
MONEY
PAIN
...GAH.
To quote the Almighty Lucy of Peanuts, "Stop the world, I wanna get off!"
My head is spinning from all the recent insanity around me. David and I think we have almost figured the money issues out, but everything else boils down to time and effort. Time I don't have and effort that was long ago exhausted. Right now ED is making peanut butter cookies with green icing, and that sounds very nice right now. I'm trying to focus on the nice little things I've been to frantically panicking to notice lately. Like cookies, Cookie (ED's puppy), my writing, my aspirations to attend SCAD, and all the built-up excitement over getting married this summer.
Which reminds me.
Who cares what I do with my life besides me, really?
A hundred years ago...heck, I could even say fifty, forty...it was considered offensive and fool hearty idea for a woman to aspire to do anything but be a housewife and mother. Now, every woman is expected to go to college and come out on top of some successful industry that has her making $100,000 per year and wearing a power suit to work every day. For a modern woman to desire nothing more than a proper marriage and a family is so unacceptable to so many people...a woman who chooses to take on the full-time jobs of being a faithful, dutiful wife and a loving mother is not respected as the same class of human being as a woman that delays or rejects these ideas in exchange for loads of debt from student loans and a decent job that they will likely end up hating anyway.
I'm all for women branching out and becoming anything they want to be- but if I am truly happy, satisfied, and productive as nothing more than a writer, a wife, and a woman, who has the right to dictate that I am a less responsible, less intelligent, less experienced, or "spoiled" woman?
My ideal future is to get married, get stationed somewhere reasonable, and attend the Savannah College of Art and Design while David is deployed, as he is very likely to be within one or two years of joining the USMC. But let's use our common sense, children; that plan is very naive.
More than likely I will not have much of a choice in where David is stationed, or about when I will be able to attend college on an actual campus. Though I realize that online college is a great option that I will probably take advantage of, I feel in my very core that my duty is to my husband first, because he will be and always has taken wonderful care of me at his own expense, and truly enjoys seeing me happy.
College is not necessary for financial success. The opposite belief is, to be brutally honest, an incredibly common misconception. And, believe it or not, folks, money isn't everything. If I want to make money, I'll write and work my tail off, and my writing will be as likely to become popular as the work of someone with a degree. In fact, since it's fiction, it could end out even more successful.
Another point- This is the United States of America. I have here more freedom than any other woman on earth could hope for. I can attend college whenever I want. At nineteen, at twenty-five...at thirty or forty.
I can make of my life whatever I want to make of it.
And that is a wonderful, enlightening, nerve-wracking thought.
The world is ours for the taking. Our generation, for its peak of twenty years or so, will rule this earth in whichever way we choose to. We are the future. We are the champions.
The heart isn't always a trustworthy compass, but love is- love is not an emotion or an obligation or a natural instinct...all those things come from love. Love is simply the choice to put another human being before one's self in every way possible because it brings you sheer joy. Love is letting another know, every day, through everything you do, that you see the truest form of beauty in them, shimmering through all their faults, and you hold them higher than yourself because without them, your world would be a much uglier place.
Love is a choice, and everything we tend to think it is is a byproduct of that shimmer of divinity that we so long to embrace.
If I have to live in a two-bedroom apartment and work every day of my life, if I have to scrounge, fight, push or pull, I will live my life with love for everything God has blessed me with, starting with the love of my love. College is still a huge priority, but c'mon people...without differences, humanity would be even more miserable than it already is.
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams,
We are the movers and shakers,
For our world forever, it seems."
Shalom,
~W.V.~
BUDGET PROJECT
MONEY
HOME
MONEY
WORK
MONEY
SCHOOL
MONEY
PAIN
...GAH.
To quote the Almighty Lucy of Peanuts, "Stop the world, I wanna get off!"
My head is spinning from all the recent insanity around me. David and I think we have almost figured the money issues out, but everything else boils down to time and effort. Time I don't have and effort that was long ago exhausted. Right now ED is making peanut butter cookies with green icing, and that sounds very nice right now. I'm trying to focus on the nice little things I've been to frantically panicking to notice lately. Like cookies, Cookie (ED's puppy), my writing, my aspirations to attend SCAD, and all the built-up excitement over getting married this summer.
Which reminds me.
Who cares what I do with my life besides me, really?
A hundred years ago...heck, I could even say fifty, forty...it was considered offensive and fool hearty idea for a woman to aspire to do anything but be a housewife and mother. Now, every woman is expected to go to college and come out on top of some successful industry that has her making $100,000 per year and wearing a power suit to work every day. For a modern woman to desire nothing more than a proper marriage and a family is so unacceptable to so many people...a woman who chooses to take on the full-time jobs of being a faithful, dutiful wife and a loving mother is not respected as the same class of human being as a woman that delays or rejects these ideas in exchange for loads of debt from student loans and a decent job that they will likely end up hating anyway.
I'm all for women branching out and becoming anything they want to be- but if I am truly happy, satisfied, and productive as nothing more than a writer, a wife, and a woman, who has the right to dictate that I am a less responsible, less intelligent, less experienced, or "spoiled" woman?
My ideal future is to get married, get stationed somewhere reasonable, and attend the Savannah College of Art and Design while David is deployed, as he is very likely to be within one or two years of joining the USMC. But let's use our common sense, children; that plan is very naive.
More than likely I will not have much of a choice in where David is stationed, or about when I will be able to attend college on an actual campus. Though I realize that online college is a great option that I will probably take advantage of, I feel in my very core that my duty is to my husband first, because he will be and always has taken wonderful care of me at his own expense, and truly enjoys seeing me happy.
College is not necessary for financial success. The opposite belief is, to be brutally honest, an incredibly common misconception. And, believe it or not, folks, money isn't everything. If I want to make money, I'll write and work my tail off, and my writing will be as likely to become popular as the work of someone with a degree. In fact, since it's fiction, it could end out even more successful.
Another point- This is the United States of America. I have here more freedom than any other woman on earth could hope for. I can attend college whenever I want. At nineteen, at twenty-five...at thirty or forty.
I can make of my life whatever I want to make of it.
And that is a wonderful, enlightening, nerve-wracking thought.
The world is ours for the taking. Our generation, for its peak of twenty years or so, will rule this earth in whichever way we choose to. We are the future. We are the champions.
The heart isn't always a trustworthy compass, but love is- love is not an emotion or an obligation or a natural instinct...all those things come from love. Love is simply the choice to put another human being before one's self in every way possible because it brings you sheer joy. Love is letting another know, every day, through everything you do, that you see the truest form of beauty in them, shimmering through all their faults, and you hold them higher than yourself because without them, your world would be a much uglier place.
Love is a choice, and everything we tend to think it is is a byproduct of that shimmer of divinity that we so long to embrace.
If I have to live in a two-bedroom apartment and work every day of my life, if I have to scrounge, fight, push or pull, I will live my life with love for everything God has blessed me with, starting with the love of my love. College is still a huge priority, but c'mon people...without differences, humanity would be even more miserable than it already is.
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams,
We are the movers and shakers,
For our world forever, it seems."
Shalom,
~W.V.~
Nov 17, 2009
Lord help me
I need this week to be over. Seriously. I also seriously need to avoid my house. And to move into my new house.
I wanna get away so bad.
I'd love Thanksgiving to pass me by, if I can just walk outside and breath freely.
I'd love to be a ghost to everything in this life I have now.
Lord help me.
I wanna get away so bad.
I'd love Thanksgiving to pass me by, if I can just walk outside and breath freely.
I'd love to be a ghost to everything in this life I have now.
Lord help me.
Nov 2, 2009
Going Home
I've wandered down this road before;
A whispered memory at my door
Was all it took to break the hook
That held my mind and more.
Reflection begins, emotions teeming,
In the back of a bus, eyes open, dreaming.
~Gabrielle M. Hutchinson~
A whispered memory at my door
Was all it took to break the hook
That held my mind and more.
Reflection begins, emotions teeming,
In the back of a bus, eyes open, dreaming.
~Gabrielle M. Hutchinson~
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